I wasn't a "good kid". I really wasn't. I can admit that now.

I seemed like a "good kid" to parents and such. Really it was only because "I was good" at hiding stuff. I never got caught at doing anything "super bad", and I did ALOT. It's one of those reasons.. that I am so "Good" at spotting kids chit now.
My parents weren't stupid.. just I was "good" at being "bad".. lol.

Before I even mention "Danny Paulsin" (No he's not the Danny I work with at times now, this was when I was like in "elememtary school"). I'll tell some of the "crap" I did then. Nothing compares to how I treated "Danny Paulsin" tho. That story will come later in this post.

We lived in a huge "apartment" complex. I broke out over 100 basement windows. I blamed it on my best friend at the time. His grandpa was the "manager" then. He kicked their entire family out for something I did.

At lunch (in elementary), I would always run outside first to the "swingset". I'd let the kids "bid" for my swing. Back then, they'd pay anything they had.. lol.

I told all the neighbor kids, I was a GOD. I told them I could raise animals from the dead. I charged them .25 cents to be my friend (every week) and be around me.

My younger brother and I learned (well he followed my lead), that you can walk into a "toy store". Fill an empty bag with "air" and walk out with a ton of toys. Looking the same coming out, as you went in. We did that alot.

My parents did shows 35 years or more. Well we used to steal money from mom's cash register to buy stuff we couldn't steal. I was into model rockets.. so we filled our our bags in "Virginia" (at a mall with model rockets). Mom also paid us for working. She didn't know what they cost. I'd say this rocket was .25 cents, when it may have cost $5.00. Anyway, one day we went outside the mall, and were shooting them off over it. My stupid little brother decided to "burn the evidence". He set all the trash on fire outside the mall. Well security drove up. And he put a "bag over it" that burst in flames while he was talking to us. We got caught on that one.. lol. I think I got in so much trouble, I've blocked that memory to this day. That's really the ONLY time I got in trouble for something big.

This is how good I was back then.. My little brother got caught stealing from a store one day. I had my pockets filled with chit. I thought very "quick" I said... "Ummm, you got stealing again Brian".. Mom and Larry are gonna kill you! The manager looked at me and said "He's been caught stealing before?". I said, yes.. they will be so mad (I lied, he never had at that point). He said.. tell your pparents to call the store. So I buried all I stole (had in pockets), and never told mom. I got us both out of trouble.. lol.

OK.. enough of that now. I could go "on and on".... I'll talk about "Danny Paulsin".

Quite frankly, both me and my little brother "terrorized him". I was the bad one really, Brian followed me mainly. We terrorized the poor soul for years. His Grandpa always bought him "new expensive toys". I always smashed them with rocks. Made him tell his family "he did it". He always did, he was so afraid of us. I think they thought he had some major "psycological issues". How many times can you piss in a cup, and make someone afraid so bad they "drink" it? I'm gonna say over 100. I always said "Have some more Lemonade". I kinda felt I could do whatever and get away with it.

The situation with "Danny Paulsin" ended with this. My little brother took a crap in the field. I had my first little girlfriend then. I called "Danny" over. I wanted to show her how strong "cool or whatever" I could be. I rubbed shit in his face, mouth, hair.. all over. I laughed, he went home. I never thought a thing about it. I was used to abusing him.

So I am sitting at home, and I hear a "knock at the door". It happened to be him (cleaned up now) and his mom. He said "Gary and Brian" did it. Well Brian never did, I did and my girlfriend "Renee" helped a little. My stepdad "mis heard it". He heard "Gary or Brian" did it. The quick thinker I was, I pointed at Brian. I yelled "Brian did it"! See, Brian was scared of me (big brother, and our stepdad). When our stepdad was mad, he could be mean.

It was the worst punishment he ever got. He didn't even do it. I did. He had to spend hours against a wall with a little paper on his nose. If it fell.. big problems. He was swatted, all that. he wouldn't narc me out. I was bigger then him too.

To this day, I can't even mention this to Brian. If I do, he will get mad "like in a heartbeat" (we'd fight, and he's way bigger then me now).. lol. Was the worst time of his life.. and he didn't do it.
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Later in life. I'd say my late 20's. Brian and I (he is 3 years younger) went back to the apartment complex. Just for something to do. Check out the "old neighborhood". We weren't looking for anything. We were older, and mature. Well Danny Paulsin still lived in the same house. He was by the road, and we just wanted to say "Hello". His face turned "white" as a ghost that we were there! He was bigger then us too now. We weren't looking for him, hell to us (at least me) that was so long and forgotten. It did show me "it impacted him". I have felt bad about that forever since.
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That was all a VERY LONG time ago though. Today, I am very more the "opposite". I'll walk a mile to help anyone. I'll put my ass on the line for anyone I feel "mis-treated". I have many times in my adult life. I still maintain a "tough edge" at times, but only so nobody "walks over me". I may not be big, but I can stand my ground quite well.

I tend to help most, that I feel "abused, opressed, not treated equal".. things like that.

Guilt can last a "lifetime". Did you know that?? Even if you were never caught in the things you did. Ironic, it can also totally change a persons "perception and personality"...

Take care, Gary :)

Comments:

So basically as a kid you were a piece of sh*t, I think it'd be cool for Danny to come back and give you the ass kicking you deserve. I was bullied when I was a kid, and one of those kids who tormented me I found them..and I beat him to a pulp

comment by redwolftimes on July 3, 2009 4:06 AM ()

That was "elementary school Red". I got my payback in "middle school" I think. I was picked on by everyone then. I always stood up, to even the biggest tho. Got my ass beat many times. Soon tho, they stopped. They at least knew, I wouldn't take chit. I did learn how "Danny" felt. It changed me. By High School, I started getting popular. Just I was good at alot of things. But my feelings had changed by then. From then out out "I stand up" for the little guys.

reply by coincutter on July 3, 2009 2:54 PM ()

I know first hand how guilt can last a life time...I wont elaborate...but I carry a bit of guilt as well.
In a word...karma...I soooooooooo believe in it!