The other day I was talking with one of the guys at work. It was the day that it was announced that New Hampshire's government signed same-sex marriage into law. I basically said something about how it was my luck to live in the only state left in New England that doesn't have legal same-sex marriage. He responded by saying he didn't understand why people have such a problem with it.

I have always thought him to be an interesting guy. He is one of the oldest people on the staff at the library, but he is also one of the most liberal. It is always interesting to sit down and talk with him. It was his next comment that caught me by surprised. He asked me why Ray and I didn't just drive across the border and get married. We live 3 miles from Connecticut and 2 from Massachusetts.

Ray and I have been together for more than a decade. It is pretty neat to be able to say that. Our relationship is respected equally by our friends and families and the community. With that said, it would be nice to go through the process of having a marriage ceremony and sharing that event with our loved ones. That is something that could be done just over the border.

The thing is ... I am not sure it would feel the same. We would come home, and the state would judge it meaningless. In a way, that would make the results a little more depressing. That is the reason I would rather wait until we can get married here in Rhode Island.

Part of the joy of getting married is celebrating it with your community. That is hard to do when your community basically says the result has no value and is unrecognized. So, that is why we wait.

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