I went 3 months without a cigarette. Then the holidays come around, the breakup, and way too many parties and drinking going on and without meaning to, I started again :(
Boo Meranda! Bad Girl!
The good thing is, I've lost weight. This is very needed because I have absolutely NO clothes that fit me right now. But if I can shed a few, my clothes will fit again. There is nothing worse than buying BIGGER clothes.
I'll re-set another quit date when I can prep myself into it again. At least I'm not smoking as much as I did.
So, I got a roommate. And she is perfect. She works all the time so she is never there. She pays on time and cleans up after herself. Woot! I still will want to move when my lease is up so I can live somewhere by myself and be self sufficient. Also - I want to find a place like a condo or apartment so I don't have to shovel snow or do any yard work. I'm lazy what can I say?
Being single is interesting however my ex is still trying to get me back pretty hard. Doing all the cute romantic things that would have kept me there but too late now. I also have been dating/hanging out with my ex husband a lot. We have always been very good friends but we were both in jealous relationships and couldn't for too long. He just got divorced and so did I in a way so were free to be friends again. He got me a lap top for Christmas. It's weird to be spoiled again.
I had 2 deaths over Christmas that were pretty rough. The 1st was my best friend from High School's one and only son. We were pregnant together with the same due date so we have always compared our children's development together. I had just been talking to her about what we had been up to lately and a couple days later I get a message that her son had died. (he apparently died of alcohol poisoning) I found his obit online and tried to call but she is not answering her phone (still). I would like to be there for her but I'm sure she is pretty broken up. Her only son and after her fiancé died just 2 years ago. I can't imagine being able to go on after that.
The 2nd death was not so close to me, just an acquaintance that was having marriage problems and didn't have the balls to get out so he blew his head off in front of her. It was a hard few weeks dealing with my friends that knew him more than I did. Very sad situation.
Another crappy thing going on is the stupid weather!! Holy shit has it snowed here. I have so much snow in my yard and it feels like all I do is shovel and salt the walks. It's getting annoying and I am in need of some sun REAL bad. REALLY REALLY bad.
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Yeah, you are a "Bad Girl".. and you "Do deserve" a spanking! (Thinking to self,, Wish I could give it - your freeking HOT!). Honestly, You deserve a spanking, and a medal. A medal for trying, a spanking for being "weak" and not doing it!
The first "3" days will SUUCK!! You'll wanna rip out your pastors "eyes".. You won't like "ANYONE", you WILL want to kill everyone!. However, it soon changes. Day by day it gets better. Right now, I don't desire to smoke. 12 months in, I still love the smell of smoke. The addiction is gone.
Sorry to hear about your losses! Serious!!! I attended 4 funerals this year, from people who meant alot to me.