I was very pleasantly surprised to get a phone call from my daughter--we talked for two hours. I had symbolically "cut the cord" after years of her caustic blame game attitude and causing me much grief. Until she could speak to me like a normal human being, as one adult to another, I would have no contact with her.

Months later I find this has worked wonders. Now she's the girl I knew when she was growing up; we can talk together about everything. As soon as she knew I meant business, and cut contact, it opened her eyes. Lesson learned susil: As long as you are willing to put up with something, it will continue.

She has deep feelings about plants, animals and the environment like I do. She lives in a new subdivision on land originally deeded to Spanish settlers by the Crown. This land has never been developed or touched. Near an arroyo she found signs of Indian habitation and shards of arrowheads and knapping tools to make them.

The developer who bought this land from the descendants wants to build more houses on the land without calling in the state Archaeologist or Historian to examine the site. I say speak up, go for it, before the site is razed. Good for you, daughter!

susil

Comments:

comment by jjoohhnn on June 29, 2009 5:58 PM ()

Thanks jj..

reply by susil on June 30, 2009 6:55 AM ()

It's amazing that you were able to bring her around through "tough love". First off, she would have to realize she was part of the problem. Too often that does not happen. Then you have a forever impasse. I'm pleased you have regained your daughter.

comment by tealstar on June 28, 2009 4:14 PM ()

Hi teal, well for 27 years she's been brainwashed and under the mind control of her psycho husband--My sincerest desire is that she is finally thinking for herself but as long as she's with him, I don't count on anything, I am sorry to say.

reply by susil on June 30, 2009 7:02 AM ()

Sometimes we do have to "cut the cord," stop enabling, say no to the pain, and let a loved one or friend find their footing. We wait with patience at a distance while another person does the growing, maturing work to turn into the person we can only hope they will become. What a thrill it is when they do it!

comment by marta on June 28, 2009 12:35 PM ()

marta, I thought it would never happen and I still don't trust her completely. She could turn on me again. I hope it sticks.

reply by susil on June 30, 2009 6:53 AM ()