http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/ teacherwoman's Blog en-us © 22:14:51 Greasy.com All rights reserved. Wed, Feb 22:14:51 8 GMT 30 http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/lawyer_senior__read_thi.html A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily. So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game. The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun...."I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5.00. Then you ask ... http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/lawyer_senior__read_thi.html#comments Sat, 4 Feb 2012 14:15:37 GMT http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/yeah_yeah_know_2.html Between work home and just life, I'm busy! Blogging takes time I just don't have. Do I miss you guys? The answer to that is yes. I have so many friends here that I've had now for years and I'm sorry I'm not around that often. Do I want to blog? Not right now. Occasionally, very occasionally, but it's not because I don't enjoy it. I'm just busy. Will I come back? Maybe at some point. Right now it's just taking time out of a busy schedule. You and you know who you are, are wonderful friends ... http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/yeah_yeah_know_2.html#comments Mon, 30 Jan 2012 21:03:35 GMT http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/good_share.html Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He asked the guy, "How much money do you make a week?" A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, "I make $400 a week. Why?" The CEO said, "Wait right here." He walked back to his of ... http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/good_share.html#comments Mon, 9 Jan 2012 16:24:28 GMT http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/years_thoughts_old.html I've thought about my New Year's resolutions and decided to take it one day at a time. Plan for the future but live in the present. Don't get caught up with what will happen tomorrow, but enjoy today. Are there things that I want to do to better myself and my life? Yes and we should all have those goals at any time, no matter whether its the beginning of the New Year or any other time of year. I do intend to laugh more than I've ever laughed. Love with more love than I've ever loved before ... http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/years_thoughts_old.html#comments Sat, 31 Dec 2011 15:20:37 GMT http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/funny_years_resolutions.html General Funny New Years Resolutions I will... Start washing my hands after I use the restroom. Stop drinking orange juice after I just brushed my teeth. Stop licking frozen flag poles. Only get divorced and remarried once this year. Watch more movie remakes. Go back to school to avoid paying my student loans. Only eat white snow Keep it to myself that I have trouble with authority when I'm being interviewed. (especially by a policeman writing me a ticket) Spend less than $1825 for coffee a ... http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/funny_years_resolutions.html#comments Fri, 30 Dec 2011 15:12:46 GMT http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/christmas_tequila_cake_recipe.html Tequila Christmas Cake 1 cup sugar 1 tsp. Baking powder 1 cup water 1 tsp. Salt 1 cup brown sugar Lemon juice 4 large eggs Nuts 1 bottle tequila 2 cups dried fruit Sample the tequila to check quality. Take a large bowl; check the tequila again to be sure it is of the highest quality. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to make sure the tequila is still OK. Try another cup just in c ... http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/christmas_tequila_cake_recipe.html#comments Wed, 28 Dec 2011 14:43:52 GMT http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/just_say_.html Merry Christmas Animations provided by MySpaceAnimations.com Funny Dancing Santa Animation provided by MySpaceAnimations.com Funny Dancing Santa Animation provided by MySpaceAnimations.com Merry Christmas Animations provided by MySpaceAnimations.com http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/just_say_.html#comments Sun, 25 Dec 2011 16:27:20 GMT http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/lovely_femaile_friends_there.html http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/lovely_femaile_friends_there.html#comments Mon, 19 Dec 2011 21:12:46 GMT http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/christmas_story.html If this does not warm your heart this Christmas season, nothing will. I remember my first Christmas adventure with Grandma. I was just a kid. I remember tearing across town on my bike to visit her on the day my big sister dropped the bomb: "There is no Santa Claus," she jeered. "Even dummies know that!" My Grandma was not the gushy kind, never had been. I fled to her that day because I knew she would be straight with me. I knew Grandma always told the truth, and I knew that the truth alway ... http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/christmas_story.html#comments Thu, 15 Dec 2011 22:16:36 GMT http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/revisions_12_days_christmas.html Revised Christmas days Effective immediately, the following economizing measures are being implemented in the "Twelve Days of Christmas" subsidiary: Snowman 1) The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree, which never produced the cash crop forecasted, will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, providing considerable savings in maintenance 2) Two turtle doves represent a redundancy that is simply not cost effective. In addition, their romance during working hours could not be condon ... http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/revisions_12_days_christmas.html#comments Sun, 11 Dec 2011 21:35:25 GMT http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/true_friends_know.html Friendship ~ None of that Sissy Stuff. Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cute little smiley faces on this ~Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship. • When you are sad ~ I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad. • When you are blue ~ I will try to dislodge whatever ... http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/true_friends_know.html#comments Fri, 9 Dec 2011 19:04:38 GMT http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/dumb_christmas_jokes.html That's right, I said Christmas!!!! Funny Christmas Graphics hosted at MySpaceAnimations.com Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? A: Claustrophobic. Q: Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer? A: Because every buck is dear to him. Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit. Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? A: Frostbite. Q: Why was Santa's little helpe ... http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/dumb_christmas_jokes.html#comments Thu, 1 Dec 2011 11:49:09 GMT http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/thankful_come_easy.html Animations provided by MySpaceAnimations.com I've walked a hard road this year and still I am thankful. I'm grateful to God for helping me heal from a bad fall and for taking care of my family in a time when so many are suffering. Thanksgiving has always been a wonderful day for family for me. This year I will be missing one of my sons because he has to work and he lives far away. My heart is with him, but I know that this is temporary. We'll be together for Christmas. And that's what its ... http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/thankful_come_easy.html#comments Tue, 22 Nov 2011 19:54:12 GMT http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/wooden_bowl.html The Wooden Bowl I guarantee you will remember the tale of the Wooden Bowl tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now, a year from now. A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year-old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult.. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, ... http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/wooden_bowl.html#comments Mon, 21 Nov 2011 15:22:39 GMT http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/humor_women.html (But I know you guys will take a peek!) I was meant to be loved, not understood! If a man is alone in the forest, and there's no one there to hear him speak, is he still wrong? If woman's work is never done; why start? If we are what we eat...I'm fast, cheap, and easy. If we put a man on the moon--we should be able to put them all up there. I'm a lot of trouble, but I'm worth it. I'm not a bitch, I'm THE bitch, and that's MISS BITCH to you! I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now! Intu ... http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/humor_women.html#comments Thu, 17 Nov 2011 20:56:26 GMT http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/real_laws_passed.html Frankfort, Kentucky, makes it against the law to shoot off a policeman's tie. Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants in Marshalltown, Iowa. Idaho state law makes it illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds. In Denver it is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor. In Devon, Connecticut, it is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset. In Greene, New York, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks ... http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/real_laws_passed.html#comments Sat, 12 Nov 2011 20:17:32 GMT http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/dumb_things_heard_courtroom_part_2.html ◦Lawyer: "What happened then?" ◦Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'" ◦Lawyer: "Did he kill you?" ◦Witness: "No." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ◦Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--" ◦Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ◦Lawyer: "You we ... http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/dumb_things_heard_courtroom_part_2.html#comments Tue, 8 Nov 2011 11:52:10 GMT http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/dumb_things_heard_courtroom_part.html The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ◦Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?" ◦Witness: "I only have one, you know." --------------------------------------------------------------------- ... http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/dumb_things_heard_courtroom_part.html#comments Mon, 7 Nov 2011 14:37:04 GMT http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/bounce.html (Passing this on. This is cool!) U.S. Postal service sent out a message to all letter carriers to put a sheet of Bounce in their uniform pockets to keep yellow-jackets away. Use them all the time when playing baseball and soccer. I use it when I am working outside. It really works. The insects just veer around you. All this time you've just been putting Bounce in the dryer! 1. It will chase ants away when you lay a sheet near them. It also repels mice. 2. Spread sheets around foundation ar ... http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/bounce.html#comments Sun, 6 Nov 2011 17:42:05 GMT http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/fairy_tales_really.html Cinderella Snow White Sleeping Beauty The Little Mermaid http://my.greasy.com/teacherwoman/fairy_tales_really.html#comments Thu, 3 Nov 2011 20:35:24 GMT